Saturday, January 30, 2010
Book - Introverts In The Church
Found on Reformation 21
I plan on checking this book out. I didn't know anyone else could have related to this issue.
The author makes this comment that I understand completely.
Is there an assumption that people who tend to be quiet and alone are sad?
“In many cases, yes. Many extroverts assume that introverts need to be constantly 'drawn out,' and that if we are alone, we are just waiting for someone to come over and chat us up, because we are languishing in self-pity and isolation. But in truth, we may be relishing our solitude and savoring our times of reflection. Some of my most joyful times come in a quiet moment of thought or prayer. One of the hallmarks of introverts is that we find energy from solitude, and that even though we may enjoy social interaction, those experiences drain us. We need to be restored into shape through time alone. So, even though people may assume I’m sad and lonely when I’m alone, I’m actually gaining energy during that time, not losing it. Extroverts wilt through too much time alone, but introverts are lifted by it.”
Introverts in the church
Posted by Sean LucasShareThisAs a confirmed INTJ (that's Myers-Briggs personality speak for introvert, intuitive, thinking, judgment), I've struggled at time with my personality. For example, my wife loves to entertain large groups of people at our home; I prefer to have one other couple over for the evening. I find that I don't do well in large group events; I much prefer having lunch with someone where we can have a conversation. I find myself drained after a full day with people (like Sunday) and need a day following such a busy time to recharge. One week of vacation doesn't help me much; I find that two or three weeks back-to-back enables me to recharge.
At first, I thought that this was just my own quirkiness. After spending some time reading on personality types, I found that I was perfectly normal (well, that's debatable) or at least that I have lots of company. In an extroverted world and church and married to an extroverted spouse, there are simply personality differences that are like being left-handed in a right-handed world; not wrong, just different. The challenge becomes learning how to manage myself in the light of how God made me and in view of the calling God has given me.
That is where Adam McHugh's book, Introverts in the Church: Finding our Place in an Extroverted Culture, is quite helpful